The one thing an Indian women is taunted most of her time after she gets married is to get pregnant fast. Almost everyone around you to get a swollen belly just few days after marriage. Being happily married for 3 years, I am a 30 year old women who enjoy being healthy, manage my work and family. But, lately I have been put into a scrutiny eyes of every older ladies around me. If I put on weight they assume I am pregnant but when I shed weight it becomes a matter of criticism.
“She doesn’t focus on getting a child. All she wants is good figure and a pair of jeans”
This was one of the worst comments I have ever heard for me. Yes I like to look good, be in shape, get that bikini figure but this doesn’t kill my maternal instincts. Why my success, independent behavior is judged by me being a women who don’t want to have kids. Frankly, I love kids and feel the joy being around them. I love cute simple, senseless talks, drools, even nasty way of eating food.
The criticism did take a toll on me. No matter how much I tried to avoid the talks, silently it entered my head and put a question on my soul – Are they telling the truth? Don’t you want to have kid? Your Biological is ticking, don’t you want to get a kid? Trust me, finding yourself in such situation is not easy, but the best way is to find the way out sooner as this can lead you to the pit of depression.
So, with the help and guidance of my friends (mostly male) and my husband, I found out that I am nowhere wrong to think about my career and my life instead of a baby. Yes having a child will be blessing for me but only when I am ready. If you are facing same problems like me and wish to get out of these depressing times, try what I do and may you will be just happy like me.
An Idle Mind is The Devil’s Workshop – Better Get Back to Work:
The most important thing to get out of these depressing thoughts is to get yourself into a work which you enjoy. For me its writing on topics I want to share with my readers. The mantra is to get yourself busy in the work so that you don’t get time to think about any negative comments. Also, the busier you are, the less you interact with nonsense people.
Connect with Your Spouse:
Most of people who suffers from depression tries to cut all ties with people around them. If you are doing that stop immediately. If you are facing any kind unwanted pressure of getting pregnant, discuss with your partner. You might be surprise to find that your spouse is not ready at all. Having a child is a big responsibility which both husband and wife needs to bear. First be ready in every way and then get a child in your life.
Be Healthy, Be Wise:
If you are scared that your biological clock is ticking and you don’t know what to do, then stop fretting and get appointment of gynecologist. You need to make sure that your body is healthy to bear the child. Also, keeping yourself fit means you get more time to bear a healthy child. You can have a bikini body and still have full chances to conceive a healthy baby.
These are just few simple tips I practiced when I was having a feeling of being not up to the mark for everyone. Being a mother is the biggest task of any women’s life. You need to be prepare in every way as you will be the responsible to nurture a soul. For me, it’s important to be happy before making anyone happy in my life.